u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
