You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
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