hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
