We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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