So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
