Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
