Screwed.edu
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
