They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
