if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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