worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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