No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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