Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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