Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
