The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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