He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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