apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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