so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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