There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
