It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
