you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
