then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
