dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
