Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
