he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
