Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
