p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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