I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
