Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
