theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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