i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
