its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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