Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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