I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
