smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
