my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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