Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
