that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
