How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Its about making memories worth repressing
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
