You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
