i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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