Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
