you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
