I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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