So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
