Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
