been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
