dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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