He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
