no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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