Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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