soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
