New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
