I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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