youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
