We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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