Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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